


Immortal Souls

by izz017



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Declarations Of Love, Denial of Feelings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Falling In Love, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Grief/Mourning, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2020-01-04 05:55:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18337535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izz017/pseuds/izz017
Summary: 'I believe in soulmates, that there is someone out there who is destined for you. A love like that is not straightforward, you may lose each other along the way but the universe will always make sure you find one another again. That is the kind of love you fight for.'-Anonymous





	1. Mamihlapinatapai

**Author's Note:**

> First attempt at writing~ feedback is appreciated  
> Shout-out to @space.matriarchs on Instagram for allowing to use a piece of their work as a work skin--->check out their other doodles on IG and show some love (I promise you won't regret it)  
> Also, some may be wondering about the chapter title (it wasn't my original idea however, after a bit of research and careful consideration, I thought that it fits well but I have yet to learn how to pronounce it ha...)  
> Roughly defined, it refers to: 'A look (or moment/feeling) shared by two people, each wishing that the other would initate something that they both desire but which neither wants to begin.'

(Blue’s POV)  
Darkness. The first thing I experience, as I emerge from the ground. I involuntary shiver as the cold air hits me, but that is instantly forgotten when I see that I was not alone. A yellow figure who has yet to notice my presence walks towards me, distracted eyes scanning around our current environment. It is only when I clear my throat that I catch their attention as their head quickly turns to look at me. Something in their gaze felt familiar but at the same time new and intriguing; after all, they are the first being I have seen within my small time of existence. We lock eyes, and a warm feeling arises within my chest; it’s as if for a split moment everything slowed down to a halt.

(Yellow’s POV)  
365 cycles. I have been stuck wandering this damn planet- following White’s orders to locate the third member of the Great Diamond Authority, who seemed to be taking her sweet time to emerge and making me wait. My patience grows thin once more as another scout around the planet is fruitless until the sound of someone draws me out of my thoughts instantly. I stop three feet in front of her, and any snide remarks I could have said faded away. Breathing was an unnecessary concept for gemkind yet I felt the air has been knocked out of me, as I feel like the urge to start gasping for air. This feeling was unfamiliar as we continued to look at each other. Both of us taken aback when our gemstones glowed but the light disappeared as quickly as it came. I was quick to speak and I held out my hand as a welcoming gesture, in the hope of relieving the somewhat tense atmosphere.  
“Blue diamond. I have been waiting for you. Come, I am here to take you to our Homeworld. You are now part of the Diamond Authority, I’m-” Heat rushes to my face so quickly, it is almost overwhelming and causes dizziness, as her soft hand grabs my own. “…Yellow diamond.”  
We turned to walk back to my ship, our hands not letting go even for a second.

* * *

(No POV)

The next millennia passed by quickly, and both Yellow and Blue settled into their roles successfully under White’s tutelage. However, there was a sense of unrest between the two youngest diamonds. Feelings that were initially present during their first meeting intensified ten-fold as they spent most of their days together. It was 500 years previously that they identified it as love, but out of pride, stubbornness and the fear of unreciprocated love, they did nothing. Every decision has its consequences, whether good or bad, and this was no exception. None wanted to admit that this put a small strain on their relationship, they deluded themselves into believing that their feelings caused weakness and were an unnecessary distraction.

* * *

 

It was a rare day of rest and to no surprise, they made the most out of it. They may have had a variety of colonies between them, but never had the time to appreciate the universe in all its glory, so that’s what they did. They were stargazing on one of Yellow’s colonies, lying next to each other in a comfortable silence. Their fingers brushed lightly together in the space between causing eyes to widen and the withdrawal of their hands to themselves. Blue took it upon herself to speak up first and change the subject.  
“We should do this more often, it’s a beautiful sight isn’t it?”

  
“Yes, the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.” But Yellow was not paying attention to the sky above them, but rather focusing on the figure beside her as she responded softly. At this particular moment. No force in the universe could tear her eyes away from Blue, and the latter seemed to notice this as she met Yellow’s gaze. Unconsciously the gap between them closed as their faces inched closer together.  
“Blue I-“ Foreheads met as their eyes closed shut, lips mere centimetres from each other.

“Yellow! Blue!” Yellow’s communicator activated to the sound of White’s voice, effectively ruining anything that would have happened as the pair sat up to address their superior. Turns out they were needed back home, and they departed immediately in silence.

* * *

Their little moment was never spoken of, and this in turn caused Yellow to become withdrawn. She made it a habit to avoid Blue, choosing to carry her work out from her personal quarters until Blue had enough, and decided to confront her. It was a typical day of completing reports when Yellow’s door opened and the one person, she secretly longed for walked in.

“May I help you?”

“What’s going on? You’ve been so distant lately…I miss you.” The last part was more to herself, nonetheless it had reached the ears of the golden gem. Those words alone almost caused her resolve to crumble as she wished to take her into her arms and never let go.

“Nothing, you’re with me now, I’m right here aren’t I? Is that all? I’d really like to finish my work before it gets dark outside.”

“It doesn’t seem like nothing. Please Yellow, if something is bothering you, just talk to me.” At this point Blue was desperately pleading.

“I said I’m fine!” Things took a turn for the worse, as the atmosphere changed and voices started to raise.

“There you go again! Lately, you have become the most difficult person to talk to. What is your problem?!” At this question, Yellow snapped, sprung out of her chair and marched directly to Blue, who was so taken aback by her intimidating expression that she couldn’t help but take a step back. As a response, Yellow pinned her against the wall.

“ **YOU!** You’re my problem! When I first saw you, I felt something. I tried repressing these feelings, and it was working until that stargazing debacle 62 days ago. You wanted to know what’s wrong? Well, to be honest I’m scared. I love you so much that it hurts sometimes, and that I would do **_anything and everything_** to make you happy, if that was what you desired. I love you, there I said it, and now you know.” They had both calmed down and their current position was reminiscent to two months ago. However, unlike what occurred previously, there were no interruptions. Confessing like this was not her intention, but it was the heat of the moment; once she started, it could not be stopped. “I’d understand if you don’t feel the same way, you can leave if you-“ The sensation of hands being placed on her face quietened down the rest of that sentence.

“I love you too Yellow. I mean how could I not? You were the first thing I saw. I cannot bear the thought of being parted from you. This planet may be where we live, but my home is wherever you are; and I know I’ll always be safe with you.” Blue arms wrapped around yellow shoulders, as yellow eyes glanced at the set of lips before travelling upwards once more. Yellow was speechless as there were no words that could possibly be worthy to convey the sheer happiness she was feeling. Desire hung in the air, as unspoken feelings continued to be communicated in silence.

“Tell me to stop.” Yellow gave her the opportunity to change her mind, the last thing she wanted to do was cause Blue any discomfort or regret.

“No…kiss me, I’m yours.” The breathless whisper was a surprise, but she readily complied. It started off slow and tentative as they were new at this, but after a few moments the kiss deepened. Yellow lifted Blue in her arms, making sure to not break their kiss and walked back inside her quarters, whilst closing the door shut behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone wants a continuation of this chapter let me know...I've never written smut before but I'll be willing to push myself out of my comfort zone  
> Song inspirations for this chapter:  
> -Do It Again by Patti Lupone  
> -All This Time by One Republic  
> -Falling For You by Lady Antebellum  
> -A Thousand Years pt.2 by Christina Perri ft. Steve Kazee  
> -Show Me What I'm Looking For by Carolina Liar


	2. Saudade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst  
> Set after The Trial when Steven and Lars escape in BD's palanquin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is Portuguese  
> I actually had this short story written out three weeks ago which allows me to post a new chapter each day  
> It took a little while to upload them because I read through them thoroughly and made some changes  
> This chapter is a little shorter than the first one because I didn't want to be too repetitive when it comes to this angst

_“…But you’re on our world now.”_

* * *

“Apologies my diamond, Rose Quartz still remains at large, we have yet to locate her.”

“How difficult can it be? They took Blue Diamond’s palanquin for crying out loud!” Yellow’s angry rant would have progressed longer if a third voice didn’t calmly speak up.

“All of you, please leave us.” With a saluted bow, their respective pearls and the gem soldier exited the room. Taking advantage of their newfound privacy Yellow put her hands on tense shoulders in hopes of comforting her. What confounded her is when Blue flinched and brushed her off. “How could you do this? You let your emotions get the best of you, and now your anger caused enough distraction for Rose to escape!”

“Oh, _**I**_ let my emotions get the best of me?! You’re one to talk, for 6000 years you have been wallowing in your own sadness. You left me with your responsibilities and I took it _**all**_ without question just so you could grieve; and if I recall correctly, you’re the one who allowed your palanquin to be brought in, so it’s just as much your fault as it is mine.”

“I just wanted closure for Pink! We owe her that much since she was supposed to be under our care and we failed her. You always scold and push me for grieving too much, I can’t help but feel that you don’t miss her at all.”

“Of course, I miss her. Do you really think that whatever you feel inside, I don’t feel it too? Do I really come across as so callous? I just want you to move on and be the leader I know that you are.”

“I can’t believe you…is ruling the only thing that matters to you?”

“Of course not, that’s not what I meant. I thought you of all people knew that.” This was not a new argument for the pair, they kept going around tiredly in endless circles but this time it felt different.

“Do I know that?”

“Everything I do, I do it for your best interests, I do it for **us**! We’re supposed to be a team remember? Two halves of a whole.”

“Well you have an interesting way of showing it. You have changed Yellow, you’re not the same gem I fell in love with, no, that gem wouldn’t keep pushing me to move on, she would’ve given me as much as time as I needed and support me no matter what. That person is slipping through my fingers further and further every day. I can’t take it anymore, you’re making this too hard.”

“Blue-“

“I’m not **FINISHED!** Things have changed, we’re too stubborn to admit that deep down we are broken and I cannot ignore that anymore.” The truth is, this had been slowly but surely building up and now everything has been brought up to the surface; their façade of peace and blissfulness came crashing down.

“What are you saying?...Are you-are you leaving me?”

“I don’t want to but what other choice do I have? We’re not the same as we were 6000 years ago, we’ve drifted apart.” Yellow couldn’t help but feel nauseous as her entire world started to collapse all around her. She loved Blue more than anything, she was the only one who had the power to break her heart and by the stars, she was just doing that. Involuntary dropping to her knees, she clung onto Blue’s dress, grip further tightening as she leaned her head against her.

“Please…don’t leave me, I can’t survive without you. I love you so much, there has to be a way that we can get past this.” Gentle, blue hands guided the warrior back up to her feet and then glided upwards to cup her cheeks just like they had done millions of times before.

“I love you too, but right now, that’s not enough is it? The only way we can move forward in our own time and heal is to say goodbye.” Blue stood her ground despite how resigned Yellow looked with clenched fists; she was able to control her tears for once, but just barely. Yellow pried herself away and took a step back. If Blue thought that her lover had drastically changed before, then she had no idea what she was in for.

“Fine. If that is what you want, I won’t argue with you anymore. I will respect your wishes.” The monotone voice, completely void of any emotion shook Blue down to her very core. Even though it was her decision to finish things, a small part of her deep down hoped Yellow would have tried to fight harder for them; but she realised that Yellow was just in as much pain as she was. What seemed like a good idea at first twisted into the exact opposite as she began doubting herself. She wanted to sink into the amber gem and be held. She just wanted to be told that she was safe and that everything was going to be alright.

**But it wasn’t.**

And there in the deafening silence, stood the two dictators. Physically close but at the same time they could not be more distant from another. Both in pain, both shattering quietly inside.

* * *

_“Don’t know how to be so close to someone so distant. And all I gave you is gone, tumbled like it was stone…thought we built a dynasty **forever couldn’t break up…”**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song inspirations:  
> -What About Us by Pink  
> -Dynasty by Miia  
> -Diamond Heart by Alan Walker ft. Sophia Somajo  
> -Clarity by Zedd ft. Foxes  
> -Just Give Me A Reason by Pink ft. Nate Ruess


	3. Gezelligheid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set post-Change Your Mind events

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is Dutch  
> Well, this is it. This trilogy has come to an end~ massive thanks to those who took the time to read this  
> Another special mention to @space.matriarchs on Instagram, who was my test reader for this haha  
> I have at least 3 new story ideas but they would have to wait until summer to be brought to life because life and education...

_“Give me the worst of you cuz I want you anyway…”_

_“You could break my heart in two but when it heals it beats for you.”_

* * *

_The buzz of electricity as it flew from the gloved hands, unmatched force and power coursing through her form_

_Stop…_

_The slight tremble of the bridge as the crevices multiplied as a result of dull thuds, exclamations of discomfort after being knocked a few feet backwards._

**_Stop_ **

_Pained screams that started off loud gradually decreasing in volume, as the physical form threatened to give in at any moment if this carried on._

**_STOP!_ **

_Pitch black. Wandering around blindly until a shimmer was noticed from the corner of her eye. A familiar gem laid on the ground._

_“Blue”_

_Another voice surrounded her in an echo._

_“You did this to me, how could you?”_

_“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to.” She knelt down about to pick it up. Her fingers barely skimming the azure gem when it abruptly shattered into fine pieces and the dust was swept away. “No…”_

_“And now I am never coming back.”_

_“ **NO**!”_

* * *

Yellow bolted upright, chest heaving. Light perspiration lingering on her forehead and what was comfortable armour now became suffocating and chafing. In an attempt to calm herself she steadily paced around but it was to no avail, so she took to talking to herself.

“Calm yourself, it was just a nightmare…when did I even fall asleep? It doesn’t matter you’re getting off topic. Everybody is fine, nothing permanently serious even happened.”

**_But it almost did. If Steven was not there to interfere then that bad dream of yours would have become a reality._ **

Much to Yellow’s chagrin she could not disagree with that little voice in the back of her head.

* * *

This was how Blue found her ten minutes later, pacing back and forth whilst mumbling; and if weren’t for the tormented expression written across her face, she would have indulged herself to stare just a little bit longer.

“Yellow, are you alright?”

“Ah! Blue, I didn’t notice you…how long have you been standing there?”

“Just for a few moments…you didn’t answer my question.”

“I’m…good but, how are you?”

“I’m al-“

“Are you in any pain? Is your gem still intact?”

“My gem is fine, why do you ask?”

“I had…a bad dream.” Tentative yellow fingers reached forward but stopped short. Flashbacks to what she had dreamt prevented her from making contact, out of the small twinge of fear that even the slightest touch would be too much. Fingers curled back into themselves and hands fell back to the side, as they originally were. “Why are you here?”

“Well actually I-“

“No, I mean how can you stand to be within the same room as me, especially after what I did to you?”

“Yellow, I’m fine.”

“Don’t say you are fine, just don’t. You should be angry at me. I don’t understand why you still grace me with your presence even when I am so unworthy of it. If Steven was not there I would have carried on with my attack. You could have been seriously hurt or even worse…and now I just can’t stop picturing that. I keep seeing the shards of your gem.”

“Don’t you see? I have already forgiven you for everything.”

“But **WHY?!** I do not deserve anything from you, least of all your forgiveness.”

“Because I love you.” So absorbed in their conversation, they did not realise that they had moved against the wall, until they sat down side by side. Before they knew it, impulse had taken over as they engaged in a heated and eager kiss, both leaders engaging in a desperate battle for dominance with the amber warrior becoming victorious and gaining the upper hand. It had only been two months since they parted after the trial, but to them it felt like eons ago. Lust had clouded Yellow’s mind as the kiss deepened. She had twisted their positions and gradually managed to gently push Blue against the floor whilst pinning both her wrists down as well. Soft moans from the being underneath her spurred her on; she broke away and moved her lips to plant kisses on her neck.

“Ah Yellow wait…” The gem in question wasted no time in halting her ministrations and hastily moved off of her.

“Crap, I’m sorry, I got carried away. You are free to leave if you-“

“Shhh it’s ok, I was just as willing remember? Otherwise I would not have reciprocated. I think it would be wise if we talked first.” She got up and moved to lie on the bed, grinning at Yellow’s quizzical expression. “What? This is going to be an overdue conversation, might as well make ourselves comfortable right? Come here.” Complying, she mirrored her; they laid parallel to each other basking in the other’s presence but for a few seconds neither of them were willing to speak until…

“Why did you leave me?”

“You know why-“

“I just wanted you to move forward, not just for me or for Homeworld but yourself. I was absolutely devastated when we thought Pink had been shattered but I strived to keep my composure. But seeing you like that? Suffering with grief and pain every day, watching as agony consumed you to the point where you were almost unrecognisable? You had said I had changed, but so had you. Knowing that I could not even come close to making you happy again or that I could never bring Pink back to us? That was pure torture, which almost broke me, and that revelation wounded me just as much as it did when I heard about Pink’s ‘fate’.”

“I…had no idea. Why didn’t you mention all of this before? You knew I would have listened.”

“I don’t know…guess I just thought that you did not want me anymore.”

“It is a bitter irony isn’t it? If we had just talked properly instead of making rash decisions it might have been slightly less heart breaking. We really need to work on our communication skills huh?” Her eyes closed shut when she felt fingers brush lightly against her face.

“Agreed. It may have been over for you, but it was not for me…and it still isn’t. I mean how could it be? I have loved you for nearly all of my existence; it is impossible, how does one just simply erase all of that?” She drew Blue nearer to her and rested her head atop of hers, shivering when the latter traced the outline around her gem. Internally swooning as those deep blue eyes glanced at her; Blue was right, they have not experienced peace like this in centuries.

“I am not ready just yet, we both still have some healing to do but that does not mean never. Will…will you wait for me?”

“My love, I would wait until the end of time if I have to. After all, I did wait 365 days for you to emerge. Even though I was following orders, when I saw you for the very first time, I instantly knew that you were worth the wait.”

“Well I promise not to make you wait that long.” And for the first time in 6000 years they laughed properly together.

“Oh you! Come here.” Golden fingers tilted her head up in order to steal another kiss. It wasn’t as intense as their previous one, but it was by no means less breath-taking; lips gliding together softly and Yellow deliberately cut it short. “Consider that a little preview for when you are ready again.”

“Ugh, you’re such a tease.” It was a weak attempt to play it off, but the dark blue blush said otherwise.

And there they stayed, embraced in each other, not fully mended but as long as they had each other, the pieces would eventually fall into place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song inspirations:  
> -Worst Of You by Maisie Peters  
> -Back To You by Selena Gomez  
> -All Over Again by BTR


End file.
